What do women really want?

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”
—Sigmund Freud

Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the colour nine.
—Will Ferrell

STEPHEN HAWKING, the legendary astrophysicist and a man who has solved some of the most complex mysteries of the universe, was asked what it is he thinks about most. His answer was not very surprising. Which scientific puzzle confounds the genius of Hawking? “Women,” he said. “They are a complete mystery.”

If Hawking, Freud, and Ferrell, two of the greatest scientists and one of the funniest comics of our time, can’t understand women, what hope is there for the average guy? How is he to muddle through the perplexing universe that is Woman? The first thing you need to know in order to unravel this mystery is simple: All women are unique.

That’s right, every last one of them is special. Ultimately, the goal is not to become the world’s greatest lover, or boyfriend, or husband, but to become the world’s greatest lover, boyfriend, or husband of your particular partner. In short, listen to your partner. Her truth is really the only truth that matters. Yet this article will help you accelerate the learning curve, because it also reveals that women possess aspects in common in how they play, work, dream, and love, and those are the secrets I want to share with you. The second thing you need to know is that it is not as complicated as you think.

Imagine you are a tourist in a foreign land, and this book is your guided tour of the heart and mind—and, oh yeah, body—of that sovereign state. Like when visiting any foreign land, you want to be prepared—read the travel advisories, pack the right equipment, study the language, and learn as much as you can about the culture, the history, and the customs. Total immersion. You also want to learn the laws of the land; you should know what constitutes a crime and what the penalties are. No one wants to end up in prison in a foreign country. The Land of Women is no exception.

The One Thing All Women Look for in a Man
What is the number one thing that women are looking for in a man? Six-pack abs? Six-figure bank account? A tall, handsome man riding a white horse? No, no, and no. The number one thing women look for is simply this: trustworthiness. That’s right, trustworthiness.
Trustworthiness isn’t just about whether or not you are a player or, if you’re in a long-term relationship, whether or not you’ve ever been unfaithful. Although those things are fundamental and important to trustworthiness, they are not enough.
What trustworthiness looks like in dating and marriage is this: You are who you say you are and you do what you say you are going to do. It’s about reliability, accountability, and showing up just as you are. Being trustworthy is not just about safeguarding a woman’s body or her children. It’s about safeguarding her heart, as well.

The Two Major Complaints That Women Have
The first complaint is: “He is never there for me.” The second complaint is: “There isn’t enough intimacy and connection.” These women feel alone even when they are in a relationship. In many ways, these are related complaints. These women cannot trust their men to be there for them when they need them. Most of the time, this is about being there for them emotionally: listening to them, caring for them, and safeguarding their hearts.

A Tune-Up
Women want men who are there for them when they need them. They want men who are interested in them and who care about them. Woman need to feel respected, heard, and connected.
So where can you buy a can of attunement? You can’t. But you can learn it. It’s not complex. It’s not rocket science. And it has a handy acronym, so the next time you’re with a woman you can think: Just A-TT-U-N-E.

ATTEND

Give your undivided attention when it’s needed. This means that if a woman wants to talk to you, turn off the game, put away your cell phone, and show by your actions that you care about her and about what she is saying. Even if it is the minutiae of her day or something that seems unimportant to you, it is important to her and is a request for connection. If you are on a date, direct your attention to the woman you are with. No scanning the room, no checking out other women, no texting your buddies during dinner. Attention equals affection. Attention ultimately is how you express love.

TURN TOWARD
This is not a metaphor or a new age expression. Physically. Turn. Toward. Your. Partner. Women equate intimacy with conversation that is face-to-face and eyeball-to-eyeball. Unless you and your woman are about to take down a buffalo, turn toward her while you talk.

UNDERSTAND
No matter what she is saying, the goal is understanding. And how you get to understanding is by asking questions. If the woman in your life is complaining about her best friend, don’t offer a solution, don’t try to distract her, don’t think of how you can “fix” the problem, don’t make jokes, and don’t minimize the problem. Ask questions about what she is feeling and what it all means to her. This part of attuning is not about saying “I understand”; it’s about showing genuine interest and attempting to understand why this is important to her. Whether she is complaining about her mother, frustrated with her boss, or pissed off at you—let understanding be your goal.

NONDEFENSIVELY LISTEN

If you are paying attention, turning toward her, and seeking understanding, you are well on your way down the path of nondefensive listening. This is especially important if what a woman is talking about or is upset about is you. Don’t react. No one likes to be criticized or feel like they are under attack. But the tricky thing is, if you counterattack, make excuses, justify, or argue, you are only going to be criticized more. Don’t interrupt and don’t forget that any feeling is fact to the person feeling it. Whether or not you agree with her reactions or how she sees reality, her feelings are real to her in that moment.

EMPATHIZE
For those of you thinking you’ve already covered this with the whole “understanding” thing, think again. Understanding is an intellectual pursuit, while empathy is an emotional pursuit. Try to feel how a woman is feeling, even it seems illogical to you. Try to put yourself in her shoes and then think.
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Play on the one string you have – Your Attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more become more than you ever dreamed. You have greatness within you … and your attitude is the key to unlocking that potential. Changing my attitude changed my life. And if a better attitude can work miracles in my life, it can work miracles in yours!

I’d like to share with you these words from Dr. Charles Swindoll, who captured the essence of attitude—and how it dominates the direction of our lives.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company … a group … a community… a home. You can follow some of these points to change your attitude too.
1. Success begins in the mind
2. You should watch your words
3. Stop complaining
4. Associate with positive people
5. Confront your fears and grow
6. Get out there and fail
7. Keep trying till you accomplish your goal
8. Turn your problems into opportunities
9. Take active steps to change your dreams into reality
10. The power of attitude can change your destiny.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.
Pretty powerful words, aren’t they? Do what Charles Swindoll suggests and “play on the one string you have”—your ATTITUDE.
Now is the time to take control of your attitude.

Now is the time to start creating miracles in your own life.
Go ahead—believe in yourself. Have the courage and persistence to follow your dreams. And above all, never, never forget that … Attitude is Everything!

You Season 1 – Review

“You” Season 2 premieres Dec. 26 on Netflix. So here is the review of it’s season 1.

“YOU” is an American psychological thriller series developed by Greg Berlanti and Sera Gamble. The first season is based on the eponymous 2014 novel titled YOU by Caroline Kepnes.
“YOU” is a show that most certainly captures the essence of the complexity of love and the lengths that some are able to go for it. It is undoubtedly thrilling, keeping me stressed out about what will happen next. It’s also incredibly good at warming ones heart. You’ll find yourself both loving Penn Badgley as Joe (protagonist), and his kind heart and selflessness, but also hating his guts.
“You do bad things for the people you love but it doesn’t mean it’s right. It is because love is more important” . This is what Joe, the main character in the series, said to a little kid after he did something ‘bad’. It somehow sums up what the series is all about.

It could be love that drawn Joe (Penn Badgley), a bookstore manager to Beck (Elizabeth Lail), a struggling new writer after he first saw her at the bookstore.

After a series of barely ignorable stalking from Joe, the series started like your usual cheesy romantic story but it turns out creepy and bloody as it continues to unravel before your eyes. Yes it could be love or could it be addiction?
In a sense the show is nothing less than breath-taking. The cinematography and acting are also great.
However the flaws that are causing me to wonder whether my time spent watching this show was worth it are a few poor plot decisions, some pretty unrealistic scenarios, and a pretty terrible ending. While Joe is a stalker, the lengths that he goes to, and things he’s able to get away with, are unnervingly unrealistic. He sneaks his way into houses to watch people, literally tip-toeing around them. Realistically he would most DEFINITELY, been seen or heard. And more importantly no one would go to these lengths to stalk someone. His relationship with Beck, the main love interest, is very enthralling and profound, yet it feels like it was dragged on until the very end of the season for no reason. Seriously. The writer(s) even made them take a little break for two episodes just so they could prolong the season which ended incredibly anticlimactically. They have already milked the hell out of the whole “look at me I’m a murderer who can’t be caught” thing, and realistically he would have most definitely been caught for at least a few of them. The murdering spree is basically definitely going to be continued based on the way the first season ended. He killed what seemed to be the love of his life, eliminating the intimacy and real ness between the two that had been building through the whole season, which leaves me with little excitement for the second season.
All in all, this series had me pretty interested throughout its entirety, and if you’re looking for a show that hits both the categories of a romance and a thriller/horror, then this one does so pretty adequately.

Few unrealistic details and a plot that could use some work but if you’ve got the time I’d definitely recommend giving it a watch.

The Witcher- Netflix review

The Witcher is a Polish-American fantasy drama web television series created by Lauren Schmidt Hissrich for Netflix. It is based on the book series of the same name by Polish writer Andrzej Sapkowski. The series premiered on Netflix on December 20, 2019.
The characters and storyline managed to grip me throughout the entire season and I enjoyed every minute of it. The casting seemed almost perfect and now, some of the characters seem like they could never be acted by anyone else.
The storyline might seem confusing and wild at first and takes time to figure out and connect with it but once I did, I loved it. I came to realize that this wildness and difference from any other show is what makes it The Witcher – and I didn’t come to watch a remake of game of thrones, so I loved it. They delve into excellent and unique ideas and plots that make the show something definitely worth watching.

The strength of this series really relies on the cast and the writers. It is truly refreshing to see a group of people who all seem to really love what they’re doing and be putting so much effort into their performances.

Henry Cavill is spectacular as the iconic Geralt of Rivia and expands on previous iterations of the character, making the role his own while still staying true to all the aspects that makes the character so great.

He does an amazing job in his role and his performance was one of the focal points that I enjoyed in the show.

The supporting characters and two other leads (Anya Chalotra as Yennefer of Vengerberg and Freya Allen as Princess Cirilla) all bring this fantasy world to life with very real performances that remind us that they don’t have to be saving the world from an apocalyptic danger for their stories to hold true dramatic weight, and that’s also a testament to the great writing this series has.

The backdrop of conquest, war, and apocalyptic prophecy was well balanced with Geralt’s daily routine of monster hunting, a task his kind was designed to do as a Witcher. I’d add that the magical effects were also perfectly done. They were both subtle and effective.
The combat in this series is beautifully done. The scenes with Geralt fighting enemies with the camera panning him from the back is cinematography at it’s finest, along with the very gory, explicit kill scenes, all tying into the dark fantasy world. The sword fights all seemed realistic and natural, along with the powerful but not over powered magic.
My only criticism is that it can be difficult to follow at times when it jumps around to different points in time, even for someone familiar with the lore. However, paying closer attention pays off, and re-watching certain scenes can be both rewarding and productive. Though I’d humbly suggest that Hissrich include some date annotation going forward – and trust that it won’t detract from the story.
In summary, the first season is off with a bloody, sardonic, and immensely satisfying start. It’s a masterfully crafted and acted adaptation, and I have little doubt that it will become massively popular as it continues. Personally, I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.
Do keep in mind, the timeline in the episodes are not linear so keep an eye out for the obvious hints that will help you make the connection.
Really excited for the upcoming season.

Pond’s White Beauty spotless fairness | Review

Pros

Instant fairness and glow
Flowery scent
Thick texture
Affordable
Easy to carry
Good for oily skin
Non greasy, non oily
Light weight

Cons

Not suitable for dry skin

Claims

Brighten up millions of your dark and damaged cells. With Pro-Vitamin B3, one of the most powerful ingredients to boost radiance, this Day Cream is clinically proven to help your dark spots fade while providing a powdery, matte finish.

My experience

I bought Pond’s white beauty spotless fairness 25g for pkr. 275 (price may vary) from green valley, mall of Lahore. It has a very nice sturdy packaging, a plastic jar and a pink coloured lid which makes it easy to use and is travel friendly as well.

The cream has a mousse like texture which feels incredibly soft. The cream is pink in colour but casts a pinkish white colour when applied giving your skin a pinkish touch which looks absolutely good and fresh. It has a nice flower fragrance. I fell in love with this product as it mattifies my oily skin and controls the oil for about 3, 4 hours even then only my t zone gets a bit oily whereas rest of my face remains oil free.
It gives an instant fairness which fades after 3, 4 hours. I sometimes use it as an alternative for my base. It quickly dries on the skin so you have to move your hands fast. It provides UV protection too.

Although it does not lightens your skin complexion it definitely brightens your skin tone and gives an instant fairness too which is more than enough in such a low price.

Will I recommend it?

Yes, I will definitely recommend it as Pond’s white beauty spotless fairness has Pro-Vitamin B3 + Multiple UV Protection which gently brightens your skin tone giving it a pinkish white radiance and a matte finish within a very affordable price.

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L’oreal Paris 6 Oil Nourish, Oil in Cream, Oil Replacement cream | Review

How to use L’oreal Oil in Cream Oil Replacement Cream

This multi-use formula cream can be used
Prewash : Leave for 30 minutes on hair and rinse off for ultimate softness.
Post Wash Styling : Apply on lengths and tips to keep your hair manageable and protected all day.
Overnight : Massage on scalp and hair and leave it overnight for intense nourishment.

Pros of L’oreal Paris Hair Expertise 6 Oil Nourish Oil in Cream Oil Replacement Cream

Travel safe.
Easy to use and gorgeous packaging.
It’s creamy consistency makes it really easy to apply.
It can be used in 3 different ways.
Makes the hair really soft, smooth and reduces tangles.
Contains 6 amazing hair oils – Argan Oil, Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil, Olive oil, Coconut oil and Camelina oil
Contains UV filters as per claim.
Affordable price.
Easily available.

Cons of L’oreal Paris Hair Expertise 6 Oil Nourish Oil in Cream Oil Replacement Cream

Contains mineral oils, alcohol and strong artificial fragrances.
Does not make my hair frizz free.
Doesn’t last long since I require quite a lot of product per usage.
So many harmful chemicals.

My review

I bought L’oreal oil replacement cream from green valley, mall of Lahore for pkr. 640 (prices may vary).
Loreal Oil Replacement Cream comes in a beautiful golden shiny tube packaging. It has a flip open lid making it rather travel friendly. It has 6 oils namely Argan Oil, Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil, Olive oil, Coconut oil and Camelina oil.

It has a quite strong fragrance and found it really unpleasant as it bothers me. The fragrance stays in my hair for some hours and then it fades away but so does the ‘MAGIC’ it does. L’oreal Oil replacement cream is white in colour and has a very creamy consistency but it appears colourless when applied. It does not feel greasy at all neither it makes your hair sticky once it dries but the frizz doesn’t go away for long.
If you apply it prewash and then post wash too, the results will be better but I would not suggest buying it as an oil replacement as it does not work like one. It helps in detangling the hair and makes them smooth.

Will I recommend it?

No, I will not recommend it even though it is a non greasy and non sticky oil replacement cream it has a lot of harmful chemicals which can do more harm than good in the long run. It does not control my frizz for more than 5-6 hours neither it makes my hair 3× shinier 😊.

Makeup Revolution Pro Illuminate Highlighter | Review

Need more sparkling dazzle in your life? Well then go for this makeup revolution pro illuminate highlighter. The champagne gold pan is absolutely gorgeous but it looks even better when applied. This highlighter seriously makes you look glowy like a blinding glow and is by far my favourite highlighter.

Pros

Pocket friendly

Highly pigmented

Long staying power

Does not settle in pores

Huge pan

Feels so soft and velvety not powdery

No fall out

Not at all glittery

Cons

It has parabens

Not suitable for all skin tones

I bought this highlighter for Rs.800 (price may vary) from alfateh centaurus mall, Islamabad. It comes in a huge round slim pan. I love ♥️ the packaging and find it quite travel friendly as well.
Texture is quite smooth, soft and velvety. It feels so nice to even touch it 😍. It does not make you look powdery. It has a subtle glow not glittery at all which gives your face a nice sheen.

It has a nice champagne gold colour which looks great and has a transparent flip top lid. It is super pigmented but does not highlight your pores, which is a big thumbs up from me. It is buildable so you can use it to give you a more natural soft glow or that blinding glow too.

Neither its chalky and nor it’s powdery so it does not fall out. It is quite blendable as it has smooth buttery texture. Sometimes you just want to touch highlighter to feel its buttery smoothness. Lol.

It has a great long staying power. It stays on my face for about 5-6 hours without fading. It is so smooth and looks so nice that I swipe a little over my blush too for a nice glow.

Will I recommend makeup revolution Pro illuminate highlighter?

Yes, I will definitely recommend makeup revolution pro illuminate highlighter as it subtle yet completely stunning and will last throughout your life.

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10 wise Carl Jung quotes for a better understanding of yourself

Carl Jung was a famous swiss psychoanalyst and is the founder of anaytical psychology. He was a psychiatrist too. Psychoanalytical psychology is based on the individual’s psyche and the importance of wholeness for each individual.

Important concepts of psychoanalytical psychology are individuation, the collective unconscious the personal unconscious, archetypes, complexes, the persona, the shadow, the anima and animus, and the self.

Today I’m going to share some wise quotes of Carl jung here for a better understanding of yourself and the people around you.

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Photos by me.