Obsessed with the coronavirus? I know you are because we all are. We become obsessed with things that are out of our control. It’s because our brains must work overtime to process the incredible changes we are experiencing. As a result, it can be hard to get ourselves to think about anything other than the news as this historic event unfolds. What’s the likelihood of a successful vaccine? How do you make good choices for yourself and others? What will be the economic fallout? These issues and more are all on our minds, for sure.
5 Big Challenges of getting through this global pandemic
The suddenness of it
You may have heard of the virus spreading overseas a few weeks ago, but it seemed very far removed at that time. Then, seemingly quite suddenly, it’s here. In fact, it’s not only here, but it is affecting you. The world has come to a screeching stop.
Human beings are notoriously bad about dealing with things that are out of our control. In many ways, we all find ourselves standing by and watching the virus infect more people. There is little we can do and it is hard.
Every day we wake up to more bad news for us to consume. Then, it continues all day; more news coming in about how the virus is spreading, how poorly people are responding to calls to stay home to prevent the virus spread, and much, much more. It is easy to become obsessed and overwhelmed with all this information.
Let’s face it, we’re all lonely. Trapped in our homes, there is little to do but wait.
Most likely you are worried about your own personal finances. Whether you are laid off, facing a lay-off, concerned about the value of your home, or concerned about meeting your bills, we all watch as the global economy suffers. We worry about our future. It’s normal. As the world closes down around us, and as life as we’ve known it comes to a halt, we must cope. We have been educated about a number of physical precautions to take: Social distance, stay at home, hand washing, and more. But in an event this extensive and impactful, it’s not just your physical health at stake. It’s imperative to watch out for your emotional health too. There are some things we should all be aware of. It’s important.
Why is it Important to Take Emotional Precautions?
• Your emotional and psychological state have a powerful impact on your immunity. It is vital to take special care of it. • You may be closed up in a house with your family or roommate. They are affected by your emotional state and their immunity can also be affected by your emotional health. • Taking emotional precautions will help you make better decisions through these frightening, challenging, nebulous times.
Emotional Precautions You Should Take During The Global Pandemic
Pay attention to your feelings and allow yourself to feel them
Some of us are more likely than others to fail at this one. We march through all of the sudden changes and anxiety without ever paying attention to how we are actually feeling about it. But in this situation, it is important to pause, focus on your feelings, and identify them. Are you feeling frightened? Concerned? Sad? Disappointed? Lost? Alone? Fearful? Helpless? Hopeless? It might be anything. But it’s important for you to know, and it will help you feel better to know.
Help yourself feel less powerless by doing what you can
Follow the recommendations for social distancing. Use your good judgment balancing self-care and care for others. Offer assistance for those around you who need it. Support others and look for support when you need it.
Limit your news consumption to certain times of day
Reading every news notification that comes in all day long will consume you and alter your brain chemicals. You can set some healthy limits for yourself! For example, read the news first thing in the morning; then don’t read it again until the next morning. Do not worry, the news will wait for you.
Connect with your loved ones
During these lonely times, it is extra crucial to reach out. Check in with people. Call someone and say, “I’m lonely. Want to chat?” Most likely that person is lonely too.
Use this opportunity to grow in some way
Perhaps you can reframe this situation from “global pandemic” to “opportunity.” It’s a chance to tune in and pay attention to yourself because, in a way, external distractions are minimized. Choose a way you’ve been wanting to improve yourself and go with it. Ignoring what you’re feeling allows your neglected emotions to become stronger. Those ignored feelings can cause headaches, backaches, multiple other physical problems but, most importantly right now, they can lower your immunity. Share your feelings and issues about your pandemic experience by talking to a professional. Also, wishing you good health!
When was the last time you pitched a good fit? Adults have tantrums, too, but we excuse them as letting off steam. When our desire to do or have something or our anger at making a wrong decision or losing a valued item exceeds our ability to simply shrug it off, we release our emotions by stomping our feet, slamming doors, throwing things, pounding fists on a table, and shouting with rage. Then you feel better usually and go about your business. Sounds childish? But it’s also adult-ish. Add this normal behavior of any emotional person to the ambivalent feelings of a growing toddler, and you have the makings of a temper tantrum.
Two basic feelings prompt most toddler temper tantrums.
• Intense curiosity
• Desire to perform an act
This leads to intense frustration, which is released in a healthy tantrum. Second, newly found power and the desire for “bigness” propel him toward a certain act, when suddenly someone from above, especially someone he loves, descends upon him with a “no.” It is a conflict he cannot handle without a fight. He wants to be big, but reality tells him how small he is; he is angry but does not yet have the language to express his anger, so he does so in actions. Because he cannot yet handle emotions with reason, he chooses to cope with his inner emotions by a display of outward emotions, which we call a tantrum.
How to Handle Toddler Temper Tantrums?
Temper tantrums become a problem for both the parent and the child. How should you handle such episodes? First, realize that you can’t “handle” them; you can only respect them. They reflect your child’s emotions, which he has to learn to handle. You are not responsible for the cause or the treatment of these outrages. Your role is to support your child. Too much interference deprives him of his power and a release from inner tension, whereas not enough support leaves him to cope all by himself without the reserves to do so. This can be an exhausting and frightening experience for both the child and the parents. Here are some ways to turn down the heat.
Learn What Triggers Your Child
Keep a tantrum diary. Know what sets your child off. Is he hungry, tired? Are there circumstances that he can’t handle? What triggers undesirable behavior? For example, if your toddler cannot handle the supermarket scene, shop during off hours and leave baby with your spouse. Watch for pre-tantrum signs. If you notice that a few minutes before the flare-up, your baby is usually bored, doesn’t seem connected to anyone or anything, whines, broods, or asks for something he can’t have, intervene when you hear these grumbles, before the little volcano erupts.
As baby sees, baby does. If your baby sees you tantrum, expect him to imitate your behavior. Older children can handle a behavior outburst from parents and siblings because they can understand an explanation of the behavior, and you eventually end it with an apology and a therapeutic laugh. Toddlers may be confused when witnessing too many angry explosions and feel this is standard operating behavior within the family.
Who’s having the tantrum?
If you are a volatile person, it’s easy for a toddler to set off your own explosion, ending up in a shouting match that neither person hears or wins. He is already out of control and needs you to stay in control.
Redirecting Impulsive Behavior
Babies learn by doing things. Their growing minds are driven to explore and try out new behaviors, both for their effect on caregivers and for the way they work for the children themselves. Beware the noncurious baby.
When a baby is in a mood or stage to try out a certain behavior, attempt to channel it into one that is tolerable to you and has learning value for baby. Distracting the volatile toddler when he is about to explode may thwart a blowup.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Baby is throwing a hard ball in the house and is about to do some damage. You shout, “No!” and snatch the ball from your toddler’s hands. He erupts into a flailing, kicking, stomping, angry tirade and disintegrates into a curled-up heap on the floor beneath your feet.
Scratch this scene. Instead, as you retrieve the dangerous ball with one hand, offer a soft ball with the other and a tantrum-aborting, “Here’s a fun ball.” Or as baby begins his “no-no” pleadings for his ball, channel his throwing into a more suitable ballpark: “Let’s go outside and play ball together.” This is a win-win situation: You make your point, toddler gets to play ball.
First of all, know yourself. If your child’s cries or tantrums make you angry or anxious, it is important for you to understand what went on in your past to cause this. Sometimes just knowing that there is a connection helps a parent deal with upset behavior in their children in a mature way. Often the issues run quite deep, especially when abuse of any kind was inflicted on a person as a child, and counseling becomes necessary. It is important to the emotional health of your child that you seek help in counseling or therapy so that you can understand yourself and your reactions to your toddler’s disturbing behavior.
Don’t Take it Personally
If baby’s rage easily gets under your skin, remember you are responsible neither for baby’s tantrum nor for stopping it. The “goodness” of the baby is not a reflection of your goodness as a parent. Tantrums are as common as frequent falls as a baby climbs the shaky ladder toward independence.
A Private Scene
Toddler temper tantrums in public places are embarrassing, and it is often difficult to consider a child’s feelings first. If you feel trapped and embarrassed in line at the supermarket, rather than lashing out, calmly carry your child to a private place such as a bathroom or your car where your child can perform his act and you can calmly perform yours without worrying about audience approval.
Toddlers throw fits at the worst times, and this “bad” behavior makes you look bad around your friends. Tantrums often occur when parents are in a hurry and preoccupied with non-baby-oriented tasks, such as preparing a dinner party, or when babies sense that parents are not tuned in to them. Undesirable behavior often takes place when we impose unrealistic expectations on a child. To expect a curious toddler to be the model of obedience in a supermarket, where he is surrounded by a smorgasbord of tempting delights, may be asking too much. Go when you both are rested and fed and make it a time for dialogue about your purchases, letting him help from the safety of his belted shopping-cart seat. Remember, he is a person. Schedule upsetting events, such as getting shots at a doctor’s office, at your child’s best behavioral time of the day. Expecting a child to be the model of good behavior at the end of the day when he is tired and hungry (and so are you) is asking too much.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
To survive the toddler tantrum stage, we divide toddler desires into “biggies” and “smallies.” Staying in a car seat is a biggie. It is nonnegotiable, and all the tantrum theatrics in the world will not free the safely contained protester. But which outfit to wear on a given day is a smallie. A clothing mismatch is not worth a fight. When wearing a shirt is nonnegotiable, offering choices may save face for both parent and child: “Do you want to wear the red or blue shirt?” This lets your child feel as if he has control over his choices. Make sure what you decide to say no to is really worth it. Many toddlers throw a fit over having to put shoes on before leaving the house. Instead of starting a fight every time, maybe it’s okay to simply bring the shoes along in the car and put them on when you reach your destination. In our home we do not have the time or energy to hassle about small things. If our child demands peanut butter on top of the jelly but refuses to eat the stuff when smeared the other way around, we are not afraid to accommodate a minor whim. If grandma wonders, this is not spoiling.
Is It Okay to Retreat?
You will occasionally find that you’ve triggered a tantrum by saying no, your child has really lost it, and you wish you had said yes in the first place because you now realize it was a “smallie.” Can you change your mind? Yes, as long as you don’t do it too often. Explain to your child that you have changed your mind but not because of the tantrum. This gives your child the message that you love him and that you are flexible enough to reconsider what’s best in any situation.
Should You Ignore a Tantrum?
Most of the time the “ignore it” advice is unwise. Ignoring any behavior in your child deprives your child of a valuable support resource and deprives parents of an opportunity to improve their rapport with the tantrumer. Your simply being available during a tantrum gives your child a needed crutch. Toddler temper tantrums bring out the best of your intuitive parenting. If your child is losing control and needs help to regain control, often a few soothing words or a little help may put him on the road to recovery. If he has chosen an impossible task, try to distract him or channel him into an easily achievable play direction. Occasionally a very strong-willed child will lose control of himself during a tantrum. It often helps to simply hold him firmly but lovingly and explain, “You are angry, and you have lost control. I’m holding you because I love you.” You may find that after a minute or more of struggling to free himself, he melts in your arms, as if to thank you for rescuing him from himself.
Just as adults want to share their misery with someone, toddlers seldom tantrum alone. We believe that most babies actually want and need help during a tantrum. The fact that babies have more tantrums in the presence of someone they love and trust should not be interpreted as manipulation; it is rather that they feel safe and trusting enough to lose it in the presence of their favorite support person. Often a toddler temper tantrums because she does not have the words yet to express her needs, thoughts, or feelings. She may resort to a tantrum in order to get your attention if you are being distant, not giving her enough time. In these cases, you can usually help by giving her the words, verbalizing for her what you think and feel she needs.
A common impulse is for parents to try to fix a situation that has triggered a tantrum. While this may be appropriate in some situations, toddlers may simply be looking for empathetic understanding. For example, when a toddler throws a fit over the fact that he just took his last bite of cookie and he wants more, a parent may try to offer other snacks to calm the child. Instead, let your child know that you agree with him; it is sad that the cookie is all gone. You wish there were more cookies, too. You love cookies and can’t wait until tomorrow when there will be more! Simply hearing that someone agrees with him and feels the same way he does about this tragic situation is often enough to calm a child down and help him move on.
The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the colour nine.
STEPHEN HAWKING, the legendary astrophysicist and a man who has solved some of the most complex mysteries of the universe, was asked what it is he thinks about most. His answer was not very surprising. Which scientific puzzle confounds the genius of Hawking? “Women,” he said. “They are a complete mystery.”
If Hawking, Freud, and Ferrell, two of the greatest scientists and one of the funniest comics of our time, can’t understand women, what hope is there for the average guy? How is he to muddle through the perplexing universe that is Woman? The first thing you need to know in order to unravel this mystery is simple: All women are unique.
That’s right, every last one of them is special. Ultimately, the goal is not to become the world’s greatest lover, or boyfriend, or husband, but to become the world’s greatest lover, boyfriend, or husband of your particular partner. In short, listen to your partner. Her truth is really the only truth that matters. Yet this article will help you accelerate the learning curve, because it also reveals that women possess aspects in common in how they play, work, dream, and love, and those are the secrets I want to share with you. The second thing you need to know is that it is not as complicated as you think.
Imagine you are a tourist in a foreign land, and this book is your guided tour of the heart and mind—and, oh yeah, body—of that sovereign state. Like when visiting any foreign land, you want to be prepared—read the travel advisories, pack the right equipment, study the language, and learn as much as you can about the culture, the history, and the customs. Total immersion. You also want to learn the laws of the land; you should know what constitutes a crime and what the penalties are. No one wants to end up in prison in a foreign country. The Land of Women is no exception.
The One Thing All Women Look for in a Man
What is the number one thing that women are looking for in a man? Six-pack abs? Six-figure bank account? A tall, handsome man riding a white horse? No, no, and no. The number one thing women look for is simply this: trustworthiness. That’s right, trustworthiness.
Trustworthiness isn’t just about whether or not you are a player or, if you’re in a long-term relationship, whether or not you’ve ever been unfaithful. Although those things are fundamental and important to trustworthiness, they are not enough.
What trustworthiness looks like in dating and marriage is this: You are who you say you are and you do what you say you are going to do. It’s about reliability, accountability, and showing up just as you are. Being trustworthy is not just about safeguarding a woman’s body or her children. It’s about safeguarding her heart, as well.
The Two Major Complaints That Women Have
The first complaint is: “He is never there for me.” The second complaint is: “There isn’t enough intimacy and connection.” These women feel alone even when they are in a relationship. In many ways, these are related complaints. These women cannot trust their men to be there for them when they need them. Most of the time, this is about being there for them emotionally: listening to them, caring for them, and safeguarding their hearts.
Women want men who are there for them when they need them. They want men who are interested in them and who care about them. Woman need to feel respected, heard, and connected.
So where can you buy a can of attunement? You can’t. But you can learn it. It’s not complex. It’s not rocket science. And it has a handy acronym, so the next time you’re with a woman you can think: Just A-TT-U-N-E.
Give your undivided attention when it’s needed. This means that if a woman wants to talk to you, turn off the game, put away your cell phone, and show by your actions that you care about her and about what she is saying. Even if it is the minutiae of her day or something that seems unimportant to you, it is important to her and is a request for connection. If you are on a date, direct your attention to the woman you are with. No scanning the room, no checking out other women, no texting your buddies during dinner. Attention equals affection. Attention ultimately is how you express love.
This is not a metaphor or a new age expression. Physically. Turn. Toward. Your. Partner. Women equate intimacy with conversation that is face-to-face and eyeball-to-eyeball. Unless you and your woman are about to take down a buffalo, turn toward her while you talk.
No matter what she is saying, the goal is understanding. And how you get to understanding is by asking questions. If the woman in your life is complaining about her best friend, don’t offer a solution, don’t try to distract her, don’t think of how you can “fix” the problem, don’t make jokes, and don’t minimize the problem. Ask questions about what she is feeling and what it all means to her. This part of attuning is not about saying “I understand”; it’s about showing genuine interest and attempting to understand why this is important to her. Whether she is complaining about her mother, frustrated with her boss, or pissed off at you—let understanding be your goal.
If you are paying attention, turning toward her, and seeking understanding, you are well on your way down the path of nondefensive listening. This is especially important if what a woman is talking about or is upset about is you. Don’t react. No one likes to be criticized or feel like they are under attack. But the tricky thing is, if you counterattack, make excuses, justify, or argue, you are only going to be criticized more. Don’t interrupt and don’t forget that any feeling is fact to the person feeling it. Whether or not you agree with her reactions or how she sees reality, her feelings are real to her in that moment.
For those of you thinking you’ve already covered this with the whole “understanding” thing, think again. Understanding is an intellectual pursuit, while empathy is an emotional pursuit. Try to feel how a woman is feeling, even it seems illogical to you. Try to put yourself in her shoes and then think. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to like, share and follow me.
There comes a point in life when you look back and see how happy you were and how much doing little things meant to you. All of it feels like a dream as if your every moment passed in just a blink of an eye and you no longer stand where you used to or enjoy things like the way you used to anymore. If only there is a way of getting that spark back in your life. People. . . they always hurt. If you expect something from people, there is a strong possibility of you getting hurt. You can’t change those people because they mean so much to you so, you bear everything just for the sake of those people. They disappoint you in ways you never thought but still you don’t take them as a threat to your personality because come on you’re still not over their charms so you give them more time. You are on stage 1 now where you think they will change because YOU can’t get over them. You think of their selfish and hurtful behaviour of coping with things you might have done or said so you start blaming yourself for their wrong doings.
Now you’re tired of getting hurt. So, you use your brain and think of where the problem lies. Yes, you’re thinking right but no let’s hang around for a bit more and get a clear idea of things as the people patch up and change for some time and emotionally abuse you. So you think of giving them a second chance. Now you’re on stage 2. Congratulations !
After 2,3 days of their sudden change they’re back to their original personality and now they have evolved ! Yes, before only you used to blame yourself for their wrong doings NOW they too blame you ! It’s totally okay because YOU gave them this courage and right to do all these things to you in the first place. Now, you’re completely broken and hurt. No feelings and enthusiasm left in you.
You do things in your life not to enjoy them but because you HAVE to . You don’t feel happy anymore, nothing makes you happy. To your amazement those people will blame you for behaving like a dead person as YOU are ungrateful. Now, you’re on stage 3.
Not feeling happy, no enthusiasm, feeling hollow and sad all the time this is the new version of you only because you chose to stay with those people in the first place and you gave them the right to emotionally DESTROY you completely.
Now you have two ways from here, either you stay with them and prioritize yourself ONLY, focus on yourself and don’t rely on them in any way or you walk away from their lives for the sake of your mental health and peace. The choice is yours.
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Carl Jung was a famous swiss psychoanalyst and is the founder of anaytical psychology. He was a psychiatrist too. Psychoanalytical psychology is based on the individual’s psyche and the importance of wholeness for each individual.
Important concepts of psychoanalytical psychology are individuation, the collective unconscious the personal unconscious, archetypes, complexes, the persona, the shadow, the anima and animus, and the self.
Today I’m going to share some wise quotes of Carl jung here for a better understanding of yourself and the people around you.
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Want to know how to have a happy, satisfied and a life long relationship?
Life is all rainbows and unicorn when you fall in love and like spending time with your loved one. You want to be with that someone every second of the day. You like everything they do or say but you have to work for the relationship once the rainbows and unicorns starts to disappear and you notice your partners flaws and bad behaviour, if you want your relationship to continue happily.
Dr. John Mordecai Gottman is a researcher, clinician, award winning speaker, author and a professor emeritus in psychology who did a vast research work on improving the relationships and prevention of behaviours that can destroy a relationship. He concluded four behaviours that mostly predict a couple’s divorce. These four behaviours slowly eat your relationship, destroying it and eventually pushing the couple for a divorce. You won’t know and slowly these behaviours will put your relationship to an end, a dead end.
Here are the Gottman’s four negative behaviour
When in a relationship it’s natural for the couple to dislike some behaviours of the other partner. So to clear things out, they talk about it and get to a conclusion. Arguments happen in a relationship. But a relationship gets toxic and impossible to handle when there is criticism on the personality is involved. If one partner criticizes the personality of the other partner like how do you talk or laugh or walk, the other partner will most likely get hurt and attack back and it will lead to a heated argument. So for a happy relationship avoid criticizing your partners personality.
Gottman considered this the worst of the four behaviours. Contempt is the most important predictor of a divorce. Gottman called it as ‘sulphuric acid for love’. One can sense the level of destruction this one behaviour can cause from this statement. The contemptuous partner feels superior and show their contempt by correcting your grammar or pronunciation of a word during a talk, mock the other partner and have a hostile humour. In short a contemptuous person disrespects their partner and people don’t like being disrespected.
If you attack your partner naturally they will get defensive and retaliate in a way you won’t like either. Most probably they will blame you for the reason of every fight as you pointed out something generating an argument. They will save themselves and paint you as the bad guy.
Stonewalling is emotional withdrawal from interaction as one partner criticized the other partner and they have built an imaginary wall just for the sake of avoiding them during an argument . They refuse to communicate to the other partner during an argument. They develop this habit just to avoid the argument. They don’t react at all, totally blocking to be a part of that argument.
This article is not for self diagnosis purpose. This article is just for a general information. I hope you liked the article.
“Negative people can only infest you with discouragements when they find you around… Just get lost and get saved!” Israelmore Ayivor
We can find toxic people in our daily lives. Most of us encounter toxic people either at our workplace, in iur daily lives or we have relationship with a toxic person. People who drain our energies, non supportive, emotional abusers and back stabbers are mostly known as toxic people or negative people. They make us feel bad intentionally. Whether they do it because of their insecurities or their need to feel superior, they still end up hurting us in order for them to feel satisfied.
Toxic people are not hard to find as they have certain tendencies by which they are easy to locate. Some of the signs of toxic people are written below;
Their selfishness can be spotted anywhere. They are quite selfish, always putting their needs before others needs.
They are generally insecure. These insecurities can of because of anything or either any person.
They are egoistic and thismakes them to feel that they’re always right as they think they’re far more superior than others so everyone should listen to them.
They often mislead you. Try to twist things to make you depressed or anxious about things important to you.
They never appreciate others, as to toxic people only they are perfect.
Toxic people are not nice to others. Never say nice things to people and never cherish their feelings.
They are attention seekers and can lie to get that attention. They love creating drama and getting all the attention.
They are never straight forward. Talk to a toxic person and they will never give you a straight answer.
They are manipulators. They manipulate people and situations as they like to feel superior so they have the urge to control others. In their mind people should follow them without doubting them.
Everyone deserve supportive, loving and people who they like to spend time with. People with an over flowing negativity make sure to pour that negativity in our lives too. A small chat with a toxic person can make you feel bad about yourself. They have a tendency to lower your morales that you might end up locking your room and think about your useless existence for hours.
There are ways to put a stop to the nonsense of toxic people and live your life your way.
First and foremost step is to speak up for yourself. No one has the right to put you down in any way. If you find someone saying something that you’re uncomfortable with just tell them to stop right on their faces before they take advantage of your inability to say no. Convey them that they should not take you for granted. Tell them to go somewhere else and pour out their negativity as you’re not interested in talking to them unless they have something good, reasonable or logical to talk about. Never ever let anyone take advantage of you or your position.
Do not become a victim
Never indulge in any negative conversation with a toxic person. If you tell them about any person chances are they will most likely spread it making you look bad.
They might manipulate you into gossiping so stay away from them and avoid having long conversations with them.
Avoid a toxic person
The best way to avoid a toxic person is by not interacting with them at all and avoiding them at all cost. The less you interact with them, the less they will feed you their negativity and you will live a peaceful and happy life.
A word of advice is to always be with the people who love you and who you love. Surround yourself with positive people and their positive energy will make you happy and lively too. Spread love, happiness and positivity. Enjoy your life.
Ever dreamt that you were with the one you love the most at some place which is beyond the definition of beautiful?
Or dreamt of being in an exam hall where you run out of time but you didn’t know the answers to the questions anyway.
A dream where you find yourself at an unimaginable serene place not less than heaven or a dream of being United with your family?
Indeed, we all see dreams while we sleep every now and then and in order to understand ourselves better it is important to know our dreams.
It is safe to say that dreams can be categorized into 3 major types, knowingly:
1) Holy/Spiritual dreams
The first kind of dreams are rare to occur but holds great meaning in them. Seeing God in a dream or watching oneself in heavenly place can be examples of such category. It is believed that these kinds of dreams are highly positive and true but people can hardly understand the hidden messages they hold.
The second type of dreams, which are the desires and wishes of an individual, are more common to occur as we tend to constantly wish for things and it gets imprinted into our subconscious at some time. Thus, seeing a loved one or partner in a dream is merely depiction of our desires which takes the form of visuals in our sleep. Sometimes desires and thoughts are interchangeable and related which makes it harder to separate desires from thought-form of dreams.
Finally, the third type is the most recurring and common type of dreams. Our brain functions round the clock and is never free of thoughts. Thoughts can be memories or current phenomenon. But they get hold of greater part of our dream formation. A person going through break-up is likely to see glimpses of past memories re-enacted in their dreams. Such type of dreams are also a coping mechanism for stress and depression.
Dreams are naturally occurring phenomenon which can not be explained properly by any individual because it has unique value and experience for each individual just like love has.